Confession time…

Confession... I'm an insecure guy. I constantly catch myself lecturing others as soon as I have understood something for myself - or actually, if I think I understood a bit, which might not even be the case. Because I'm as a human being are so much protone to make mistakes. And to cheat myself and others.

I'm a proud, know-it-all, cheater

You know these little lies, where you tell something that happens just in a sliiightly different version. Just leave out the inconvenient facts. Inconvenient truth', we all want to avoid. So, I figured out, if I feel I understood something, than out of insecurity I came in that habit of KNOWING. Which also goes along with false pride, plus the urge of helping others - maybe because often in my life I was overendeavouring and feeling myself that someone should help me, which I overcompensate right now. Whatever it is... from however many life's in the past these habits built up... the main thing now is, that the total sum of these and other unconscious false ego habits stops me from being. Just being the best I could be.

100% aware

I mean being fully present. Fully connected. Listening to the highest guidance within. It is said that in our heart, there are living 2 personalities. Right, two individual personalities. One that is me. The soul which spreads its consciousness via the bloodstream to the entire body. And the other living being is paramatma - supersoul. It's Krishna directly. The supreme being. If I would just listen to him. Just depend on him. Whenever I try to depend on him out of shear necessity, it becomes clear how powerful he is.

Listen to your heart

He has all knowledge because he is connected with everything, so which book do I need to rely on, if he is sitting in my heart...? Ready to communicate with me any minute, any second, any moment.... So, why this lack of faith? Do I really need to control material nature and dominate her, press the most out of her resources to survive? Krishna says what he likes Krishi-go-rakshya-vanijyam krsi—ploughing; go—cows; raksya—protection; vanijyam—trade

The noblest of all professions

So I m looking forward to pickup where we left off last season. Ploughing the field, serving the cows, trading our surplus... We didn't know how to sew the seeds (in the right distances and broad scale), how to harvest (timely and efficiently), how to sell greens (attractive and reliable), how to live on the field and depend on some water from a tank and electricity from a solar panel. But all this makes it very clear that he is supplying everything through Mother Earth. It's up to us, to just have the faith and let loose.

How to give everything

With full endeavour for the right mission. Full trust that all that knowledge comes from Krishna. All wealth is his. He is the owner of everything. What is there that he could not give, if he is pleased and we endeavour in the right direction. Following his instructions. Coming from the scriptures that he gave personally. If he is almighty, why shouldn't he be able to do that. And there is much confirmation of higher knowledge in Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam, to trust in these as authorities. Plus the guidance of a real master and listening attentively to everyone and everything as coming from one source, being maybe the via-media in this right moment to convey his message. It's up to us to tune our receiver on the right frequency.

Overcome insecurity

Whatever insecurity we may feel, we can overcome if we remember that we are not these feelings, not these thoughts or our desires. So actually I conclude that I'm also insecure because I realized there are many perspectives of seeing the same truth in different lights. But there is an absolute truth. So close to us. We just need to listen to our highest guidance... I'm ready to listen!!! Today... Do you have any confession to make?


  1. Varaha das

    Very nice realizations prabhuji.

    I don’t know if you have made it back up to Monk farm yet or if you are still in the sunshine state but from what you said it still looks like you are determined to make a go of growing your own food. Srila Prabhupada said that farming is the most noble profession. Imho a farmer is more surrender to the will of Krsna than any other profession. Using our God given talents (“I am the ability in man”) we do our duty the best we can with what facility we have and then depend on Krsna for the results.

    I’m sure that you are chomping at the bit to get your spring garden planted, it seems like it has been a long winter.

    Our garden is mostly planted except for the hot weather plants. Krsna has blessed us with ample rain so far. But since this is kaliyuga and we do live amongst very sinful people if the rains stop then we have to get out the hoses and irrigate.

    Nice to hear from you again.

    Yhs, Varaha d.

    1. Post

      Varaha Prabhu??

      I m very glad to hear from you! We just drove back and had an incredibly good and challenging time at the same. Unfortunately we couldn’t drive by at your farm.

      Yes we are looking forward to get a lot of seeds in the ground in around 2 weeks! Hope fully we can get some sorghum which we didn’t plan to plant, but we just learned that it could grow well where we live and is also a kind of a natural superfood.

      Life is gradually becoming so artificial that it is so expensive to live at least a little bit conscious, that the profession of being a farmer could appeal to more and more – at least part time

      We are also no full time farmers, judged from a viewpoint of our psycho-physical nature.

      I will soon start releasing a series of small videos about simple living and high thinking and keep you up to date…

      Ys Bharat das

  2. Varaha das

    Hari bol!

    I’m glad to hear that you and your family had a good time, there are alot of nice devotees over there in fla. Don’t worry about not making it here,’man proposes and God disposes’.

    When we lived at Murari sevak in Tennesse, we used to grow sorgum and plenty of the locals like the Amish and the Menonites used to grow it and then sell the syrup. It doesn’t taste quite the same as cane syrup but it has its own tasty flavor all its own. It is great on fresh hot biscuts. Not sure where or if you can get the seeds on the local level, if not then i’m sure that ther are seed catalogs that carry them.

    Yhs,Varaha d.

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