Confession... I'm an insecure guy. I constantly catch myself lecturing others as soon as I have understood something for myself - or actually, if I think I understood a bit, which might not even be the case. Because I'm as a human being are so much protone to make mistakes. And to cheat myself and others.
I'm a proud, know-it-all, cheater
You know these little lies, where you tell something that happens just in a sliiightly different version. Just leave out the inconvenient facts. Inconvenient truth', we all want to avoid. So, I figured out, if I feel I understood something, than out of insecurity I came in that habit of KNOWING. Which also goes along with false pride, plus the urge of helping others - maybe because often in my life I was overendeavouring and feeling myself that someone should help me, which I overcompensate right now. Whatever it is... from however many life's in the past these habits built up... the main thing now is, that the total sum of these and other unconscious false ego habits stops me from being. Just being the best I could be.
I mean being fully present. Fully connected. Listening to the highest guidance within. It is said that in our heart, there are living 2 personalities. Right, two individual personalities. One that is me. The soul which spreads its consciousness via the bloodstream to the entire body. And the other living being is paramatma - supersoul. It's Krishna directly. The supreme being. If I would just listen to him. Just depend on him. Whenever I try to depend on him out of shear necessity, it becomes clear how powerful he is.
Listen to your heart
He has all knowledge because he is connected with everything, so which book do I need to rely on, if he is sitting in my heart...? Ready to communicate with me any minute, any second, any moment.... So, why this lack of faith? Do I really need to control material nature and dominate her, press the most out of her resources to survive? Krishna says what he likes Krishi-go-rakshya-vanijyam krsi—ploughing; go—cows; raksya—protection; vanijyam—trade
The noblest of all professions
So I m looking forward to pickup where we left off last season. Ploughing the field, serving the cows, trading our surplus... We didn't know how to sew the seeds (in the right distances and broad scale), how to harvest (timely and efficiently), how to sell greens (attractive and reliable), how to live on the field and depend on some water from a tank and electricity from a solar panel. But all this makes it very clear that he is supplying everything through Mother Earth. It's up to us, to just have the faith and let loose.
How to give everything
With full endeavour for the right mission. Full trust that all that knowledge comes from Krishna. All wealth is his. He is the owner of everything. What is there that he could not give, if he is pleased and we endeavour in the right direction. Following his instructions. Coming from the scriptures that he gave personally. If he is almighty, why shouldn't he be able to do that. And there is much confirmation of higher knowledge in Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam, to trust in these as authorities. Plus the guidance of a real master and listening attentively to everyone and everything as coming from one source, being maybe the via-media in this right moment to convey his message. It's up to us to tune our receiver on the right frequency.
Whatever insecurity we may feel, we can overcome if we remember that we are not these feelings, not these thoughts or our desires. So actually I conclude that I'm also insecure because I realized there are many perspectives of seeing the same truth in different lights. But there is an absolute truth. So close to us. We just need to listen to our highest guidance... I'm ready to listen!!! Today... Do you have any confession to make?